


Over a Rainbow

by BairnSidhe



Category: Supernatural, The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Gen, crack!fic, fixit fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1387975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BairnSidhe/pseuds/BairnSidhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean go back to Middle Earth to save their friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Over a Rainbow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Antarctica_or_bust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctica_or_bust/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Not in Kansas Anymore](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1368871) by [Antarctica_or_bust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctica_or_bust/pseuds/Antarctica_or_bust). 



> This fic is a follow-up to Antarctica_or_bust's work, Not in Kansas Anymore. It will make no sense without reading that one first. Hopefully, this fic lives up to the cracky standard set by Antarctica_or_bust. The font style was also originated in Not in Kansas Anymore, and this is the first time I've done it like that, so apologies if I screwed it up.
> 
> Please leave a comment below if you liked the work, or if you hated it...you know, just leave a comment either way.

“Hey, Dean, do remember that thing last month with the cursed goblet?”  Sam looked up from the heavy book in front of him.

“The thing that sent us to the place with the pie?  Yeah I remember.  Best goddamn apple pie I ever ate.  What about it?”

“Ignoring the fact that you think with your stomach, I think I figured out where that was.  According to this log by the Men of Letters, the Goblet of Arda transports those who activate the curse to Middle Earth.”

“That supposed to mean something to me Sammy?”

“Middle Earth?  Home of Hobbits, Dwarves, Elves, and Wizards?  Seriously Dean, you never read Lord of the Rings?  How the hell are you my brother?”

“I think we’ve established the fact that I’m not an egghead nerd like you, Sammy.  So what’s the deal with this place?  We put the damn thing in storage, it’s not like it’s a threat to us.”

“I wasn’t so much thinking of the threat to us, but the threat to our friends.  Or was I wrong that you liked those two brothers with the awesome knife collection?”  Dean nodded for him to continue.  “In the book, Fili, Kili and their Uncle Thorin all die in battle.  Do you really want to go on living your life knowing that friends died a completely unnecessary death?”

“No.  They were cool, and we totally coulda been the four Musketeers.  So let’s save them!  What’ll we be fighting?  I want to have the right shit for it.”

“Goblins, Wargs, possibly Orcs.  I think they go down like normal people, no need for special ammo or anything.  I mean, the battle got won by guys with nothing but swords, axes and bows.  Not even magic ones.  You pack up weapons; I’m gonna get together a first aid kit just in case.”

\--- **** _A few hours later_ ****\---

“You ready?”

“Yup, but how do we get this thing to take us to the right place and time and shit?”

“Got it covered Dean, there’s an incantation.  It also lets us come back whenever we want, so that’s good.” 

Sam began intoning the complex spell, which was in a strange language.  He shifted the backpack containing medical supplies a bit in preparation for the slight jerking sensation that accompanied the shift.  Then, light grew about them in colored swirls and they stood on a plain by a mountain.  Nearby stood Fili and Kili and a stern dark-haired Dwarf that could only be their Uncle.  Kili noted them first and pointed excitedly.

**“Dean, Sammy!  What brings you here?”**

“We found out about the battle, and well, couldn’t help it.”  Dean shrugged.  “We had to come join the fun.”

**“Who are these Men, Kili?  How do you know them?”**

**“We met them at Master Baggins house before you arrived.  They had to leave; there was an unfortunate incident with Bilbo’s Grandmother’s armoire.  They came to fight beside us.”**

**“I do not believe we will be requiring your assistance.”**

“You may not need us, but we’re here anyhow.  And I think you’ll find we’re good to have in a pinch.  Is there somewhere I can stash the medical supplies?”

**“There’s a ledge back by the gate, I think that’s where the Elves stored theirs.”**

“Thanks”

\--- ****A few minutes later**** \---

Fights were messy, they always were, no matter if you were trying to torch a Wendigo or soak a Leviathan in borax.  The Winchesters knew and accepted this fact.  And given the martial inclinations of the Dwarven race and what they had already faced on the trip, it was a sure bet that Fili and Kili knew it too.  That didn’t stop them from screaming (very manly screams) when the head of a goblin exploded in front of them.

**“What in the name of Durin the Deathless was _that_?”**

“This… is my boom-stick.”

“Seriously, Dean?  Army of Darkness?”

“Bruce Campbell is an underappreciated actor with great talent.  And Sam Raimi is a genius.  You’ve got company.”  He pointed to a charging Warg.  Sam quickly fired off a headshot.

**“These weapons of yours are incredible!”**

“We like ‘em, but we’re gun people, gotta admit.  Our last name is even the same as the rifle company.  Aww, man.  Sammy, I think they figured out approaching us is death.  Nobody’s charging.”

“So?  We’ve got better range than them, it doesn’t matter if they charge or not.”  He paused to load a fresh clip in his pistol, and then calmly picked off another Warg.

\--- ****Several hours later**** \---

“Hold still, damn it!  Dean, toss me the isopropyl alcohol, would you?  We don’t want an infection, and God only knows where that sword’s been.”

**“That burns!  Do you really need to pour that liquid fire on me?  And it’s only a scratch.”**

“It’s a five inch long, one inch deep gouge in your side, Fili.  You’re lucky it didn’t hit intestine.  Now hold still, I’ve still got an inch of stitching to finish.”

\--- ****Much more squirming later**** \---

“Well, that went well.  I wish we could stay, but your Uncle is giving us the fisheye.”

“Remember to take those pills, twice a day, with food.”

**“Even if he does not remember, I shall.  Are you sure you cannot leave one of your fantastical weapons?  I’ll trade you two of Fili’s knives.”**

**“Oi!  I know you favor ranged weapons, brother, but that’s no excuse for bartering with property not belonging to you!  And I’m not certain Arda could survive you being capable of exploding heads at fifty paces.  Farewell, Dean and Sammy, may your axes be ever sharp.”**

“Same to you, have a nice life, now that you get to have one.”

**“What’s that supposed to mean?”**

**Swoosh****Pop****Sizzle****Crack**  
  
**Silence**

**“I really wanted one of those gun-things, Fili.”**

End


End file.
